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Porridge Puddles by Jake Johnson & Snakely
More mind-hurting and tantalising tales from planet Tong Dee-Deee. Featuring extra-evil villain turned singing sensation, J.J, with his slime-beast of a sidekick, Snakely. A massive hit, last year, on the holiday island of McFadden.
J.J: ‘Now listen here Snakely, listen to me and listen good’
Snakely: ‘I’m all ears’
Be careful how you go
While exploring Tong-Dee-Deee
Beware the porridge puddles
Or they may swallow thee!
CHORUS
Feet first
In y’ go
Slurp burp
Who’s gonna know
J.J: ‘Nobody, thats the truth of it. It’s a peach I tell you’
Lurking round every corner
Any and everything
Avoid the porridge puddles
‘Cause they can slurp you in!
CHORUS
J.J: ‘Nobody’
Don’t go taking shortcuts
In moon grass strangers thrive
And there be porridge puddles
Waiting to eat you alive!
CHORUS
My secret tip
Is to carry a big stick
And tap in front of you
It could save a life or two
J.J: ‘But frankly, I wouldn’t bother dear’
Be careful how you go
While exploring Tong-Dee-Deee
Beware the porridge puddles
Or they may swallow thee!
CHORUS
J.J: ‘Try out the porridge, it’s lovely in here’
Snakely: ‘Yum, yum - poridge’
J.J: ‘Yes, I wouldn’t eat it though Snakely. What do you think it tastes of’?
Snakely: ‘Poridge’
J.J: ‘You’re probably right. Poridge Puddles. But, I mean - really. Would you want to eat it after it’s eaten so many people of it’s own’?
Snakely: ‘Yes’
J.J: ‘You would’?
Snakely: ‘Yeah, I like eating people and poridge’
J.J: ‘What, so you actually eat people’?
Snakely: ‘Yes’
J.J: ‘You’re worse than me Snakely. I mean, I’ve never actually eaten a person. I’ve eaten an owl before. Have you ever had owl’?
Snakely: ‘Yes’
J.J: ‘It’s disgusting. Fox’?
Snakely: ‘Yes’
J.J: ‘Iguana’?
Snakely: ‘Yes’
J.J: ‘Turkey’?
Snakely: ‘Yes’
J.J: ‘Yes, I thought you might’
Snakely: ‘Have you ever eaten a bat’?
In The Zone by Musical Statues
Locked Inside A Sweetshop by Wattle & Daub
Stupid Animals by Ian Westmoreland
The Three Headed Duck Song by Bishop Auckland
Flit Flat In The Hat by Ska-Daddle
Hot Shot Billy Boyd by Hoy Booth
Le Go by Kirkole C & The New Coupling Principle
Dark In The Dark by Max Schreck & Saddlebag
The Key by Pie Shop The Sheriff
