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Stupid Animals by Ian Westmoreland

Play And Record would like to stress that no actual animals were harmed in the writing of this song. However, we should point out that due to a technical error, in an earlier draft about 40 eels needlessly bit the dust.


Bird flew into my window pane

He ain’t ever getting up again

Dumbest bird in the whole wide world

Stupid bird


Hog walked onto a railroad track

But he ain’t ever coming back

He’s the dumbest hog in the whole wide world

Stupid hog


CHORUS

You can lead a horse to water

But you can’t make him drink

You can ride him down to Oxford town

But you can’t make him think


A bull sat into a little boat

He was so heavy that it wouldn’t float

Dumbest bull in the whole wide world

Stupid bull


A cow tried to walk on an old tightrope

She was so heavy that it went and broke

Dumbest cow in the whole wide world

Stupid cow


CHORUS


Goat he tried to drive a car

He ain’t ever going to get too far

Dumbest goat in the whole wide world

Stupid goat


And the old hen tried to swim in the sea

She got caught immediately

Ended up as some shark’s tea

Stupid hen


CHORUS


And a bird flew into my window pane

He ain’t ever getting up again

Dumbest bird in the whole wide world

Stupid bird

The dumbest bird in the whole wide world

Stupid bird

Yes he’s the dumbest bird in the whole wide world

Stupid bird